Chapter 24: Published June 22nd 2013 was on a Saturday and was in week 25 of 2013
As of this writing it was 2862 days ago
No MLP FiM would air on April 24th
You know, I can totally see the scholar's story about griffins and pegasi being cannon to MLP.
So Gale is sharing memories with Hardy... And dreams
Jade wants to see Hardy NOW... Hardy wants to get Swift first... nothing bad can come of this
OOO To bad I'm not feeling good, Sykes is fun to read. Poor Swift.
Not Responsible for Lost or Stolen Limbs.
“Oh, he’s not my colt-friend. He’s got a little lover boy named Scarlet waiting for him, anyway.”
Hardy is never going to live Scarlets crush down.
Why do I ever think I’m ‘ready for anything’?
“Well, barista... Little service or do I have to go ask your mother to stop hiking her tail down in the alley to get up here and make me a cup of coffee?” I shot back, putting both hooves on the bar.
Okay... this has to be a griffin type greeting or Hardy is being incredibly stupid... He's been incredibly stupid before, so that wouldn't be out of character, but still... not 24 hours out of the morgue...
“I said, your mother’s having a good dicking in the alley, and she’d probably make me a better day-starter, so either go get her or give me some brew, chop chop,” I replied, letting a slow, impudent smile spread across my face.
It should be noted that griffins have very few rules of social discourse. As far as I’ve been able to discover, they believe the world is governed best by two things; a strong hierarchy and huge testicles. If you have one, you don’t need the other. You can get damn near anything in griffin society by either having courage or position.
Okay, that makes more sense... and in my head TOTALLY cannon for MLP
Her first day on the job, she’d puked in a garbage can on a crime scene. The second day, a mad musical medician offered her an eyeball on a stick. The third day, she’d watched her partner die of a sucking wound to the chest in the office of a mobster.
Way to sum up act one!
Hardy starts a barfight cause Swift doesn't believe he's real. Can't really blame her for not believing and attacking honestly.
Big eddi talks a lot like Sykes... Hmmm
If destiny ever really touches us, mine was smacking me about the ears.
If Taxi’s greeting was enthusiastic, Scarlet’s was downright unsafe. He crashed into my side like an affectionate bowling ball, smashing me against the car. His legs went around my middle and he hugged me so tightly my eyes felt fit to pop out of their sockets.
Lover boy Scarlet indeed
After Glow has a really wonderful reaction to finally seeing her grand daughter. I honestly love how Chessie is able to just do this.
Oh hey look, the chapter ended. Lets have a peek at the comments, 64
Taxi gave me a sober look. “Jade knows you’re back.”
The most terrifying sentence in existence.
Cuddles… ouch.
Not much else to say this time around, really.
-GM, master of comical boats.
Act 2, Chapter 2: "Hush Now, Quiet Now" - Well... Yeah...
Ok I know its his thing, but Sykes's accent seems a little too thick at times. Its good but it can be dropped off just a whee bit possibly. But then again, who am I to say?
Ok I know its his thing, but Sykes's accent seems a little too thick at times. Its good but it can be dropped off just a whee bit possibly.
I dunno. Have you ever heard someone talk with a Glaswegian accent? Sykes' speech may read a bit thick, but I would submit it is not nearly as thick as IRL examples can be.
I imagine Sykes sounding a bit like this as he recounts his early years as a young cockerel ned growing up and street fighting on the streets of Detrot:
Patting the hood, she pulled a tiny black box from her saddlebags and pressed a button on it. Something inside the car shuddered and a soft glow suffused the interior upholstery before fading a moment later. “Let’s just say you wouldn’t want to touch the seats right now, unless, of course, you liked the idea of spending several weeks screaming in the burns unit of Holy Sun Memorial.”
I grinned as she secreted the black box away. “Whatever happened to 'peace and light'?”
“Peace and light don’t apply to anypony who touches my car without asking.”
It was only well after Celestia and Luna rose to power that a genuine treaty was worked out between Equestria's two most prominent flying species, who could then walk amongst their prehistoric enemies without fear of being eaten or shock-fried.
Which is not to say that the two species never get into a scrape every now and again.
In the year 47 ALR (after Luna's return), the griffin delegation to the Seven Sapient Species Summit caused a minor furore when a member commented to a press Minotaur "we seek to serve Equestria's ponies." The griffin warlord Chief claimed that the comment was simply misheard and taken out of context by pony agent provocateurs seeking to disrupt the summit. The discovery of the (in)famous griffin cookbook, The Joy of Grilling on the Chief's entourage did little to allay suspicions and raised not a few hackles and eyebrows amongst the Equestrian delegation...
I grinned as she secreted the black box away. “Whatever happened to 'peace and light'?”
I have peace of mind knowing that anypony or griffin who tries to do anythin untoward to my baby will have their skin scorched off by a searing, blazing flash of light. 
griffin poetry aficionados
You have not truly experienced Hoofspeare until you have bashed some drunken sod's beak in with a wingstrike for having the galling temerity for daring to criticise your iambic pentameter couplet.
Hey there you two! Just got caught up and damn is this story addictive! I've stayed up till 3AM the past week reading this (being unemployed has it's benefits). Sorry about unintentionally spoiling the 'not Twilight' thing for everyone 
but I made that comment before reading the comment about Twilight. This story is fantastic and I love an author (or in this case authors) who respond to the comments. Really interesting to see a writing team. I would tear out someone's eyes if they tried to change something I had worked hard on. Anyways keep up the good work and I hope to see more of you 
P.S. I have an inconspicuous black van if anyone in the unofficial Cuddles Brigade wants to carpool. Lots of storage room for stuff and things.
NaiKujibo I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Don't worry guys! Swift is...um...
You know, I think it couldn't hurt for me to go find a nice bunker before the next chapter releases.
Anyway, yeah, CeoKasen and I started off both writing the story, but our styles were too different. I'm a much more consistent writer. I can churn out words, day after day. Kasen is a much cleverer writer. He's got beautiful turns of phrase and understands the mechanics of writing a scene. Most of the best lines in this story are his, while the 'character moments' are mostly mine. We developed the plot between us, usually over fast food and bad coffee.
One thing I will say is that it has taught me to get my ego out of my writing. This story would not be HALF so good as it is without being able to accept Kasen's alterations, input, constant fixing of my hideous grammar, and truly spectacular ideas. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I may write the day to day stuff, but he's the reason Starlight Over Detrot exists.
Behind the scenes, Coandco, our second editor, works the purely mechanical. He's a real magician with a red pen. Trust me, if you could see an unedited version of a chapter, you'd think I was an idiot.
-Chessie
I used to always keep 1 or 2 chapters of this story unread, in case of noir emergencies (this is the only story i do so, this is like my 3rd favorite story) but i couldnt keep torturing myself everytime i saw a new chapter in my favorites, it hurts more now because i have no more after i read a new one, what should i do?!!
on a side note, i loled when i thought about a detrot fortress 2
After glow as the soldier
Scarlet as the Scout
Swift as the pyro (lil fireball, plus she's really strange as far as ponies go)
Sykes/Eddy as the Demolitions
Taxi as the Engineer (loves technology and machinery)
Hardy as the heavy (Tough, dies a lot, heart transplant from a different species)
Slip Stich as the Medic (I had to sit down when I thought of this, i laughed too hard)
Hardy's Assassin as the Sniper
??? as the Spy
Jade as the Administrator
Telly as Saxton hale :P cuz she's awesome
Detrot Fortess 2 
I had too much fun with this
GO read
If I were a more patient and decent soul I would've paused between each chapter to allow the incredible gushing praise spurt from lips to probably wind up everywhere. Since I'm not, one comment will have to suffice.
This fic is truly a work of art. I have been endless reading quote and begging friends to examine it because it truly is incredible. This is the most incredible and compelling works of noir fiction I've read in far too long. Mickey himself would be proud to call Hardy a friend I think. This fic has had me spellbound since i opened the first chapter. I've done a serious mischief to my sleep schedule I confess which probably says things about me i'm not crazy about but are definitely worth it.
Your grasp of metaphor and how your characters tick is truly incredible. You personalize them so beautifully that they truly feel like real beings in some alternate world. I can imagine them living these words and I don't say that lightly. The unfolding of this story has left me truly breathless, every time some new facet is exposed I feel my heart beat quicker as I imagine how Hardy and his acquired group will manage, I won't deny I was shocked at his death and did have to gold back a few tears. I am truly grateful I was able to get to the next chapter so quickly as otherwise I fear you may have gotten very vexed pms
My only critique is Swift's colouration, I can't quite get a grip on her colours. she seems to oscillate from a neon pink to salmon in the latest chapter to orange in other spots and her mane and eye colour feel like they're either rarely mentioned or simply don't register as much as her pelt colours do. Other than that all I humbly ask is that this incredible epic continue. I can't wait to see how things progress.
... You know, I think it might have more to do with the lighting?
I am surprised that this story does not get more love. I just powered through the 4 most recent chapters and I really want to know what happens next, but as I read I noticed that the number of views per chapter had dropped almost exponentially from the very beginning. I do not think that view counts like that do this story justice. The setting is established nicely and the characters are all flawed and believable and with actual depth and motivation(though Hardy is suspiciously at peace considering he just woke up from being most assuredly dead and the Stilettos that helped shut down the drug lab were a little overpowered but those are more nitpicks than anything). I say all that to say, that you have got a fan in me. Looking forward to the next chapter.
theblueblur92 Heee, Hardy is 'suspiciously at peace'. You've no idea. Let us just say, your suspicions are well founded.
Blessedly, there are only a few Stilettos and those drug dealers were only 'level one'. Rats in the basement, as it were.
-Chessie
While it wouldn't be the first fanfic where Twilight was male... No. It's not Twi.
Which I'd hoped not to leak just yet, as I was really having fun reading some of the more morbid Notes in Tara Strong's cheerful "Dear Princess Celestia" voice, but what can ya do?
Hint: Try the first paragraphs of Chapter 8's Note.
--CEO Kasen
Also: good chapter! Yay! I've added some more stuff to the TVT page; two entries from this chapter, and the rest are things that I'd forgotten about, or couldn't find the trope name for. Also, looking at the page's history, I'm the only person to ever make changes to it. Huh.
At first I thought that it didn't quite sound like him, but he'd certainly be influenced by Twi's writing style, and probably make some changes after the unnamed period of time between the show and now. Reading the notes in his voice is interesting, and doesn't seem entirely off.
Speaking of Spike, what was his place in the dragon wars?
The Cakemeister No idea. I avoided the Mane Six as completely as I could for this story, while still making their presences known. I do sorta wish I'd been more particular, but then, it does leave it to others if they wanna write something in the same universe to figure that stuff out.
-Chessie
That or it was just Barfight o’Clock.
If I ever make a set for a movie or something in a bar, I'm going to have a clock in the background. And instead of a 9, it's going to be labeled "barfight o'clock." And as soon as the inevitable barfight starts, it's going to hit that time. because that may be the best line I've read in a while.
Type_Writer Heehee...That was one of Kasen's. He has some damn good lines now and then, even if I do most of the day to day grind type writing. He really gives the story its flavor.
-Chessie
We can. The Stats button includes a referrals breakdown (Not surprisingly, 77% EQD).
--CEO Kasen
Dezmo That bit was actually supposed to feel a bit rushed. She left her gun behind and Hardy's mental condition is, as they say, not good. The next few chapters will have a feeling of 'crap happening at breakneck speed'. It's on purpose. Promise.
-Chessie
Not that we didn't find some amusement in doing Nightmare Night, but it ran on so long and created such a delay in the story we really wanted to tell that I would personally lick Discord's taint before we do another holiday special episode.
--CEO Kasen
Not even for a loyal fan such as me? Ha, well it doesn't have to be a full on special. Just like a random comment of Taxi mentioning it while they pass a costume shop or something. Or like have Swift make a comment that he reminds her of a cartoon character.
Nonetheless Iron Pony reference is needed. You can't not make one. Another side note, you should totally give Hardy's heart a side effect of being able to charge something. Would be hilarious if they jumped Taxi's car with Hardy's heart.
Applejinx Hee...heeeheeee...
You're gonna hafta wait and see what happens. You're predicting things that're all 'emotional and grim'. I don't do that. I'm more inclined to do 'terrifying' and 'bizarre'.
I can't wait to see some of the fan art that comes after next chapter pops.
-Chessie
Go read
Applejinx You know, your suggestion sounds nicer. Stop it! You're gonna make me feel guilty here!
-Chessie
NOOOO!!!!! 
Poor poor Swifty, how could you. Now I just want to hug her even more than ever.
2758495
"loads shotgun" you have three chapters to fix her or the entire Swift Brigade, or whatever we're going to call ourselves don't think we discussed that at the meetings yet, will come knocking at your doors. well maybe not fixed cause you can never go back to how you were after something like that but at least closer to the Swift we knew.
Just started reading and I love this story. Haven't read too many noir stories, but this is good. I might get this question answered later, but I hope the scholar is expanded upon.
-Chessie
While it wouldn't be the first fanfic where Twilight was male... No. It's not Twi.
Which I'd hoped not to leak just yet, as I was really having fun reading some of the more morbid Notes in Tara Strong's cheerful "Dear Princess Celestia" voice, but what can ya do?
Hint: Try the first paragraphs of Chapter 8's Note.
--CEO Kasen
Jolot Eee! I can't make any promises. Swift is still going to be cute! I swear! She'll just be...um...
*reads Chapter 25, which she finished today.*
How do you make something like this 'cute'? I may be about to be hunted down by shotgun wielding Swift Cuddles fans.
-Chessie
1342 Fictional character of "The Hobbit" Bilbo Baggins returns to his home at Bag End, Shire Reckoning
- 1944 US President Franklin Roosevelt signs "GI Bill of Rights" (Servicemen's Readjustment Act)
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