Chapter 13: January 9th 2013 was on a Wednesday and was in week 02 of 2013.
As of this writing it was 3,013 days ago
Hardy looks at a sleeping Swifts and thinks she might be a good cop one day. This is kind of a sweet moment I think. I grabbed my voice changer for Queenie and regret nothing. I have so many friends like Taxi, cleaning the house... Yeah... LOL, and then Hardy blindly attacking her... he's not the smartest pony sometime is he?
But then Swift wakes up and sees Queenie and loses her shit. This is actually a recurring thing, not a pony but as big as a pony? She wants to kill it, why? We'll get to that later. Its like she goes into a barbarian rage but doesn't remember the rage. Or like she gets high on Beam... its just.. yeah, explained later, no spoilers now.
Alright mess aside, and figuring out that Swift is prob going to kill every non pony pony size thing if she doesn't get tackled, we start to learn what Hardy's plan is. Getting his hands on some drugs under the table from Slip Stich, Getting Telly to make a note on Hardy bringing some of Cosmo's people but not actually booking them, pretending to send people out to clean Ruby's apartment... can you see where this is going? I love how much its going to cost hardy
Oh Hardy, pretty sure our little sidekick is writing a story about a detective
Princesses save us. They’d built a giant piss volcano.
... Can't find good art of that strangely enough. A little help from the comment section maybe?
‘Yes, I’m on a phallic symbol that would seem to have lost control of its bodily functions and is spraying the world with precious metals, but I’m not going to shout about it
Why cant I find art for this? WHY
... Man... Chessie knows how to write things that just make me stop reading for a moment.
we slipped into the heart of darkness. Well, maybe the infected lower urinary tract of darkness.
I mean, can you dry read that? I can't Something like that I need a moment to prepare or I'm going to laugh.
Equally, the madness of that pony is in every part of the creatures from their whimsical appearance to their extremely trying personalities. It is most obvious in the downright bizarre way one has to activate them.
I tapped my forehooves together twice, wiggled my rear end, and quietly chanted:
“Sunshine, sunshine; Ladybugs... Awake.”
First time I read this I hadn't watched FiM in YEARs Now that I have...TWILIGHT...And this pony has been removed from everything in the story... Please bare in mind, that this is after Season 3 epi 9 "Spike at Your Service" and before epi 10 "Keep Calm and Flutter On". Twilight is NOT an Alicorn yet, So many things haven't happened yet.
If you were wondering why I said Twilight. Who else?
Wait... um... there's some conflict here... I'm going to have to go look some stuff up. So in the early seasons, Twilight doesn't have a problem with Ladybugs... But then in an animated short Starlight the Hypnotist its proved she is afraid of them.
okay... I think that's out of my system now.
https://youtu.be/_WfHP3D_OgQ?t=6
Okay, now it is, where was I?
Disrespect. Good, I liked that. I was going to feel some actual remorse if I treated somepony with an ounce of grey matter behind their eyes like I was about to treat this character.
Oh, this is promising. And yes, it was just as awesome. Go read...
But I really want to add this bit in
“I know. It just seems... ugh. This work makes my head hurt sometimes.” My driver slapped the carpet in frustration. “Why did I agree to help you with this?”
“The potential for lives in peril, mob boss taking over a large section of the city, my new partner’s weirdo family wiped out?”
Taxi let out a sigh, but there was a dash of amusement underneath. “It’s still not as bad as that weekend I tried to teach you yoga and you got drunk before coming to my class.”
“Really? I felt wonderfully cleansed after that.”
“You made a pass at my teacher!”
“She looked wonderful in those nice, tight pants.”
“She’s sixty five!”
“They were really nice pants.”
Yup. That makes me smile.
Oh hey look, the chapter ended. Lets have a peek at the comments, 31
“Essy” – a colloquialism derived from the abbreviation for Sentient Construct, “S.C.” – is a term used to describe any object or creature given the ability to think independently by magical means.
And like that you have my absolute attention. MAGIC ROBOTS MAGIC GOLEMS BRING THEM ON.
“You blackmailed the Academy?!”
The robots aren’t going to have a violent uprising. They’ll just blackmail us until we just do whatever they want. They’ll find it funny.
Actually this comment goes on FOREVER... go read it, its great
"We are going to assist you, Hardy.” Queenie chirped, drawing a small bag from under its wings and pulling out a powdered bear-claw. It started a very dainty nibble, then tossed the whole thing into its jaws, spraying sugar everywhere. “We find this Cosmo character a most odious villain and you are a suitable hero! We cannot wait for the plot to twist!”
Lmao, time to add 'meta humor' to the wiki 
“Detective! Your pegasus is malfunctioning!”
Must be a bug in her system...
Frustration in Excelsis I love Reginald Bari. It's actually a term for a small drum, but the Italian connotation was not lost.
-Chessie
Reginald Bari
I don't know where you got the idea for the name, but in Italian "bari" means "you cheat", or "you are cheating". Interesting name for someone running a gambling establishment.
I became quickly aware of a gentle weight resting on my chest and went to swat it.
<...>
Prying one eye open gave me a glance into the black, quivering mandibles of an insect which could have easily devoured my head in one solid bite.
<...>
No coffee in the world is as good for bringing a pony instantly out of sleep as a sight like that.
Gaaaahh!
I can personally testify to the adrenal boosting and constipation unblocking powers of an enormous, unexpected spider. I have had the personal misfortune of drowsily reaching out to Significant Other's side of the bed early one morning, contacting something fuzzy and wriggling (odd, that does not feel like his face...) and then opening my eyes to a large, angry tarantula gnashing its mandibles at me from across the pillow.
Nope nope nope nope!
Sig has some really funny stuff in the rest of thier novel :D gooo read
Chessie
Arguably we only see one facet of Equestria in the show. No world is really that "idealistic", except perhaps in pockets.
Wonderful novel worth of comments, go give it a read
"Swift was banging her head against the extremely thick armor on the creature’s underbelly as though trying to burrow her way to it’s heart." (its)
Oh, gods. Chessie has a pathological inability to internalize that those are not interchangable. Thanks to the introduction of a genderless character, "It's"es proliferated; I corrected no less than 27 of those through two passes of find/replace.
Apparently, I still missed one.
pointyknives ...Well, I'm hearing that soundtrack now...
Flutterbrave pointyknives Applejinx, and, really, everyone:
Thanks! I honestly think this is some of our finest work to date. Hope it was worth the wait! 
--CEO Kasen
Never has a chapter been so quotable
Honey Mead It's no less fucked up than anything else in this story. Stay tuned!
StormyVenture Heh, maybe, maybe. Who knows? One thing I will say about Detrot is it's a somewhat separate world from the My Little Pony you know and love. It's the same world, but some parts of it have gone from natural and extremely dangerous to civilized and extremely dangerous. Equestria is, lets face it, just not a nice place to live.
1929919 We've worked hard on making this feel both noir and pony. It might surprise but making it pony was actually harder than making it noir. I've never been a 'happy sunshine' writer so writing comedy ponies as serious characters is a trial.
meerkat8472 Keep reading! The truth will be pleasantly bizarre.
Poco We have updates every two weeks, usually on Friday. There were some delays this week. The blog usually gets updated first, before a release.
-Chessie
Poor Swift, she's been brainwashed or something, probably by PACT if I had to guess. They're all about monster hunting, makes sense they'd be against Essies. of course they'd have to be subtle about it cause they're not allowed to hurt them, what better way than a police officer who snapped and started killing them. this is just my theory though, still I fell really bad for the poor girl.
- 1431 Judges' investigations for the trial of Joan of Arc begin in Rouen, France, the seat of the English occupation government
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