The Ladybugs

 act one chapter 12

I USE A VOICE CHANGER FOR THEM ITS AMUSING!

I’m afraid there’s no good way to explain Ladybugs. Unlike most sentient creations, they weren’t a fluke of magic gone wrong or a useless one-off accidentally brought into existence by the right mix of bad arcane weather. They were made for a purpose.

Some incredibly daft magic user, whose name is stricken from the record books lest he or she be cursed forever by every police pony alive, decided that the standard surveillance techniques of the time were outdated. Now, said magic user was not wrong about that particular detail; this was back when our most effective police listening technology involved a cup pressed against a door, but they were a believer in the notion that it would be very convenient, in a criminal investigation, to be able to monitor everything.

This anonymous fool did what most fools do when they’ve got something huge to accomplish and no internal mechanism for telling them they’re being stupid; they made a list. This list contained all the things he or she thought a bugging device needed to be: mobile, easily disguised, controllable remotely, able to listen from many angles, and very difficult to destroy

Our intrepid arcanist went through what must have been a veritable bestiary of life-forms, coming at the end to a small group with the necessary traits. Gathering them in one place and using magics which have, no doubt, been locked away in the vaults of the Academy, they created the Ladybugs.

It could have gone worse. That’s not to say it went well, but it could have gone worse. After all, this thaumaturgist had started with parasprites as the base for their new magical creation. Whatever else went in has been lost entirely to history, and is probably only contained in the mind of that silly, silly pony, wherever he or she might be.

What came out this ill advised venture was a brand new species. Highly intelligent, able to change color and shrink to the size of a pea, and magically connected to one another, the Ladybugs should have been the bane of Detrot’s criminal elite

At the time, It sounded fantastic.

Unfortunately, all that versatility came with a raft of downsides; the damn things had the attention spans of toddlers when left to their own devices, they got bored easily, and they had an excess of personality which could test the patience of the sanest, most even-minded detectives.

Eventually, the Ladybugs were de-commissioned and handed over to the Essy Office for integration into society. Since then, they’ve gone somewhat ‘freelance.’ If a pony on the right side of their mutant moral code has need enough and can promise to keep them interested, he can commission their services. Just be ready to put up with them.

It’s been oft-commented that the pony who designed the ladybugs was some type of mad genius. Their brilliance can’t be disputed; Ladybugs are fantastic surveillance. Equally, the madness of that pony is in every part of the creatures from their whimsical appearance to their extremely trying personalities. It is most obvious in the downright bizarre way one has to activate them.

I tapped my forehooves together twice, wiggled my rear end, and quietly chanted:

“Sunshine, sunshine; Ladybugs... Awake.”

--

Putting stuff they said so I can read it off for a video clip of just them

“Good Morning, Detective Hard ‘Hardy’ Boiled! Do you awaken?”

“Ahhh, you rise! Good!”

 “We are most pleased to see you again, Detective Hard ‘Hardy’ Boiled!” “We were most distressed to hear of the demise of your swarm-friend, Detective Juniper Shores.”

 “Our collective has learned many things about diplomacy since we became aware! We have learned you species with fewer eyes and fewer bodies find it unsettling to interact with many beings simultaneously. We have contracted the fine horn wavers at your Academy and they have, most diplomatically, made a far less squishable diplomat.”

“You ponies and your bits of money metal.” “We learned much from our daytime televisions! So many things we’ve learned! Most especially, we learned you place value on sexual propriety. Such a silly thing, but we found it most useful to know the mating habits of such ponies as wave their horns about. We simply asserted that were they not to abjure, temporarily, their demands for finance, that we would inform their mates of all such activities.”

**“You blackmailed the Academy?!”** hardy

“Most definitely yes! You may call this representative ‘Queenie.'”

“We have been mightily intrigued by your upcoming criminal enterprise!” “Assuredly. No details, but we are assured this will be interesting, or your money back!”“No, no, no! We are ever so good at keeping secrets! Our contract is safe.”

 “Miss Sweet ‘Taxi’ Shine is also here, waiting for you I believe.”

“If you refer to the pegasus with the expressive pigment, we believe she is still unconscious, yes. You are a rogue, Hardy! Wherever did you find such a lovely creature?”“Detective Juniper Shores would approve.”

"We are going to assist you, Hardy.” “We find this Cosmo character a most odious villain and you are a suitable hero! We cannot wait for the plot to twist!”

“Detective! Your pegasus is malfunctioning!”