Act One is done.
I'm dropping the pony terms for these unless I absolutely need them.
By the time you read this I will have 269 blog post. 22 of them chapter entries of Act One. That means there are over 200 Who's Who entries and I'm sure I missed some, and a few I clumped together.
I still have 153 drafts, 9 of those are people who I know are coming who have yet to show up. Actually, that is a lie, three of them have been mentioned, just not by name. frowns four, four have been mentioned, just not by name, and because of the impact they have to the story once named, I'm waiting to add them until they are. I have two other intermissions, between act two and three and then one again before the epilogs. There is a total of 158 chapters and we have only seen 22 so far. So that makes what? 136 chapters left to go? Plus 2 more intermissions. If I'm doing my math right my last official entry (unless Chessie post her original bit or 10 years later bit) will be on September 8 of this year... which will be right before my year mark of my current home. (stupid trivia, but this is my blog)
So far, in these last 23 days I have only been late ONCE and only by an hour. Which for me is pretty freaking impressive. I have created a very nice buffer (I am writing this on the 18th) when I wake up I'm going to edit the video from tonight and post it and while I play my D&D game trying to keep my little blind cleric from dying cause of arrows, I'll be cleaning up the Who's Who and chapters. I have the format I want to do down pretty well now and I like that I got about half of chapter one prepped to be posted on time. It made it a butt that I had to scroll down to find the entry I wanted to work on, but I didn't have to worry about when it needed to publish. It also made the Who's Who's entries easier because I could just look over at the chapter to see when it would publish. And yes, I'm aware that all of Act one posted one day before the chapter number, but when I get to the 32nd chapter I'm not going to have the luxury any more so I didn't let myself be trained to that short cut.
Enough about how I'm doing my blog, that is prob boring you huh...
okay...
Lets talk of what I can remember of the story.
The first thing I remember is the freaking telephone screaming at Hardy, who is sleeping on the couch. Telly is calling him because Chief Jade wants his ass front and center fucking 2 hours ago. Taxi, his best friend since FOREVER is downstairs waiting in her cab, called the Night Trotter, to take him to work. She use to work in the Police Department as well, but ... that a story that I promise you will get told at a later date. In fact, their, cutie-mark stories also get told at a later date. While Hardy just seems to be a detective, if there is anything special about him we don't know it yet. Taxi is... very special, very special. She's kinda got this, I'm going to call it a "hippy" vibe. All about the free love (she's pansexual) and inner Zen. She's also kind of like Ty Lee from Avatar the Last Air Bender in the fact that she can poke you and make your blood flow backwards. She spends time not only studying other cultures but actually going and staying with them, learning their ways, at least enough to be respectful.
When they get to the police department, which use to be the place where the royalty was until they chose to give it to the P.D. a different militant force, PACT, is practicing working together with the P.D.
OH! Now that makes me think of The Scholar (whos identity you find out in the last epilog) explains things at the start of most of the chapters giving you a really amusing incite into what your about to come across, if you look at it sideways. I particularly like what he has to say about the relationship between the police department and PACT.
When Hardy make it inside the castle, yup, that is what they call the building of the police department, there is CHAOS. They have a magical filing system, in a cloud, that hovers above the lobby.
Yes, this is a Noir story... but this is also a "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" story, so your going to get weird adorable stuff blended in that even as I try to drop the pony aspect from my explanation, I just cant humanize everything. And there is a thing I'm going to deliberately ignore, and that is the races. Other than some amusing quirks, like imagine an earth pony putting on a harness, he needs to roll on the floor. Or just to get a reaction because Taxi is getting really flirty with Minox, Taxi being a pony, and Minox is a freaking minotaur which confuses Swift on how that works... To me it doesn't matter. Because what am I going to do? Ponies are like North Americans? Earth ponies are USA, Unicorns Canada, and that would leave the Pegasus to Mexico? and Zebras are... what... you I really don't want to go there..
I don't like looking at people and seeing their skin color. I'm from Texas, I do do that, okay? I'm not perfect. But damn it, I try. This is a story and outside of some things, if I can help it, I don't care what your skin color is, I don't care what is between your legs (your biological gender) unless you are dating me and that is more because I want to know how to best please you, and I really, really, don't care what turns you on. Who cares if you like boys, girls, attack helicopters? Unless you are in a relationship with me, it is absolutely none of my business about your sexual preference if you are demi/a or just a nympho. So unless it is a really important fact about the char I'm not going to bring it up. But Taxi being pan is something that brought up and is somewhat important at least to Swift, but given her family background its kinda funny.
Lets get back to the absolute chaos shall we? The cloud file is pretty much throwing a fit because somehow, a stupid guy in PACT managed to shoot it. Enter Swift who literally flies into the cloud with a bucket of ink and does a patch job on the cloud making it calm down. Hardy spends a moment talking to Telly and then goes sees his crazy boss. Not only does Hardy have a case, but he also has a partner and if he doesn't accept the partner, or if anything happens to the partner, he's going to sit behind a desk and be responsible for making the chief's coffee (FYI, after like three days of being responsible for making my bosses coffees, they told me never again because I make it to strong. I like my coffee where when you ad a dash of milk and a tsp of sugar its still STRONG) also, if he ends up behind a desk, Taxi will get fired. Apparently Hardy went through a few partners like J did in the MiB series. Just when Hardy ask who is stupid enough agree to be his partner, enter Swift again.
Swift I want to point out pretty much has a baby face and is tiny to boot. She looks young and she has such the sweetest innocence about her. She failed out of PACT because she was to small to handle its ordnance, but not from the lack of trying. She wants to be a hero, she wants to protect the city. She says she knows the line where you are protecting the city and your being stupid. And yeah, I agree with that statement. But someone told her a story about Hardy saying all the good things and forgot to mention the bad stuff. That a Lt. Grapeshot signed her recommendation will play a pretty important part later. When Hardy actually looks at her file... well... Hardy is pretty sure Chief gave her to him because the chief hates him. But Hardy does very quickly become this mentor to her.
So they head to the crime scene. I would like to point out here that the person who found the body called EVERY DAMN NEWS OUTLET BEFORE calling the police. so the scene is SWARMED with reporters and have to be corralled away from it. The dead girl on the ground who's skin (and not much later we find out the insides too) has been turned grey. I would like to point out here that she's a unicorn and her horn had been broken off. Its pretty apparent that she ran off the roof. Swift, upon seeing the body with her legs bent all weird goes to throw up. But she knows what the pin that was found under the victims body is.... Well get to that later.
Hardy and the gang which now includes a pretty big guy named Sykes who has the most fun accent I've ever attempted to read out loud, all run in the building when they hear what sounds to be an ice cream truck approaching the crime scene because you do not want to be around the county coroner when there is reporters present. We do get to meet Slip Stich and if you know anything about FiM that whole chapter screams Pinkie Pie descendant.
But lets talk about the High Step Hotel... or rather... the information important to the case. No there is one detail that needs to get mention. Swift tries and likes meat. (Swift is a pony, so you know, typically vegetarian) The victim, who calls her self Princess Luna (the night goddess from FiM) pays in cash for the penthouse. By the time that Hardy and gang get there the room has been cleaned, but they check it out anyways and find the roof access which hasn't been cleaned and has blood on it. Then they proceed to explore the roof getting so lost that not only are they playing Marco Polo but Hardy is leaving a trail of Jelly Beans. Swift, adorably gets tangled up in some bushes and needs to be cut out.
So that pin I mentioned earlier. Well... I'm going to go ahead with spoilers cause by this point you really should have been following along. Swift's mother use to work at an escort and night club ran that is ran by a drag queen dragon. Miss Stella is freaking amazing and has been investing in pony kind pretty much since the founding of Detrot. That pin is given to Stella's specials but I don't think its ever explained on how one becomes a special. Before Hardy and Taxi can meet Stella they have to drink a truth potion. While you only need a sip for it to work, Hardy, in a show of absolute faith to Swift, after hearing that the seed of the plant is poisonous, downs the entire glass which just shocks Swift and Scarlet, who is one of Swifts childhood friends and also a male escort who develops a big crush on Hardy. Hardy is asked one last question before he is allowed to meet the mistress, had he ever owned a crusader class weapon. Which. When you find out that Stella knew and was on semi good terms with Hardy's father, makes you wonder just why Stella asked that question. But Hardy, who promptly takes this as a sign to empty his gun and then prove its empty, say's he doesn't even know what that is.
They meet the dragon and while Stella doesn't have a worker with grey skin, the fact the poor victim lost her horn really upsets the dragon.... but we come to find out that there is a spy in the Vivi and the dragon cannot really say or do anything and then as they are leaving, tell Swift to go visit her grandmother who just so happens to be the head of security and in the only room that isn't bugged. We get another name of someone who just might be our victim. And when we get to her apartment, we get another name before finally finding out her real name. Here is all the names that get associated to her: Jane Pony, Princess Luna, Charity Soul, Azure Rose. Her real names ends up being Ruby Blue. But while we are vising grandma, Swift gets a "real" gun instead of the stupid pea shooter that requisitions gave her. FYI, Granny is the one who taught Swift how to shoot, and Swift makes some AMAZING shots in the story!
It's getting late, so Hardy and Taxi take Swift to get some comfort food. Flying Iron makes the best fried hay, perfectly crisp, and somehow never burns it. He's also got a talent for if you do something he doesn't like your getting hit in the head with a flying hot frying pan. Swift ask if the fried hay is real food and Hardy gets on her case about trying meat earlier. They talk a little shop, and Hardy realizes just how good Swift is at taking notes.
End day one.
Okay, so first things first, lets go visit Slip Stitch! ... Oh no... a button... Um. Swift and Taxi both have a thing about pushing buttons and levers even though its prob a stupid idea. If your wondering why the link... well... I put pictures in trying to show what's being seen.... I want to point out that Thal is a freak of nature because she ate poison joke when she was researching ... and well.. Yeah. Swift, seeing that she is not normal loses her shit and tries to attack Thal. This is actually HUGE and happens any time Swift see's something that we are going to say normal size, but isn't normal. You don't find out why in Act one, so I'm not going to explain it, but I promise there is a reason. When we finally meet Slip Stitch he's singing into a bone... and also excitedly explains that Ruby is grey inside and out. Hardy doesn't need a medical degree to know that isn't right.
Okay, next stop is Ruby's apartment which is currently being tossed by a big brute who is looking for something, though he doesn't know what. In my head, he sounds like Rocky from the boxing movies... Hardy does find Ruby's diary, and how to open a luggage, which Swift has the brilliant idea of shoving Hay Maker in to transport him back to the Vivi.
They take Hay Maker in the luggage to Stella via a back door who promptly locks down the Vivi to not let the spy escape. Stella has a pretty firm "don't kill anybody" rule. He does keep the gangs from invading his territory, but nobody know how. The big bad thugs just end up in front of the castle in dress and make up tied up pretty as gift, none of them willing to go back a second time. Hay Maker wont talk, so Stella ask Snow Coy to come and make him. Snow just looks into his eyes and Hay Maker spills. Rumor has it, Snow's grandmother once made a dragon cry with just a stare. This is a nod to Fluttershy. While he doesn't know the spy's name, he does give up his false tooth that he uses to communicate with her. He is also in love with her.
Hm... a false tooth that can send sound... this is also a night club... Taxi tricks the DJ into helping them and Hardy tells the DJ to turn the volume ALL THE WAY UP. which ends up destroying the receiver. They do catch the spy and after a short bluff, she does talk as long as they will help her get away from her boss, Cosmo who first assigned her there to get dirt to either get the Vivi to close down or get more dirt to blackmail the important people who use the escort service, until he finds out that Ruby works there and then it became all about getting all the information she could get on Ruby.
Now between getting Hay Maker and the Spy to be willing to cooperate, Hardy got hurt... Mostly because he was being stupid, but still. So you get to meet Vivi's inhouse doc, Pickle, who is honestly a doctor, but the reason why he went to medical school is because he's got a kink about causing pain. He reminds me of one of the forsaken from The Wheel of Time Series. Though the healing spell he used on Hardy has a chance to make your heart explode.
The spend the rest of the day in a room that just so happens to have a wall that is pretty much fly paper and Scarlet takes ... think Bad Dragon toys and puts them in a box so they can put case information on the wall to try to figure it out. Oh, and Stella learns Hardy's obsession with bagels. They set up a camera that lets Stella see inside the room in a way that lets him feel like he's actually in the room, and then Scarlet moons the camera...
Day Two ends with Swift agreeing to spend the night at Hardy's because if they sleep at the Vivi Scarlet is going to wake everybody up with kisses.
Chapter 13 is where day three starts and we meet Queenie.
I didn't know how how to work my voice mod... but I got it now... here is most of Queenies lines from chapter 13. Queenie... in human terms, could be called an android. And yes, Swift loses her shit until Queenie escapes, but the little versions of Queenie, the ladybugs, don't bother Swift at all unless you say the word Essy, (which is what they are) and then, she loses her shit. Something is def weird about that and Hardy does look into it, but not in act one.
Their next stop is to go to King Cosmo, the drug/crime lord's den. And I love Chessie's imagery. I need art!
By the way, to activate the Ladybug network you
I tapped my forehooves together twice, wiggled my rear end, and quietly chanted:
“Sunshine, sunshine; Ladybugs... Awake.”
Which is a nod to Twilight Sparkle, actually, just about everything regarding the ladybugs is a nod to Twilight.
So lets go into the piss spewing volcano and stupidly demand to see Cosmo. Bag over head and lead around until they are lost before they see him. Cosmo is a BIG guy, and I do mean BIG guy, all muscle like, gods, why does Maui from Moana come to mind? Hardy is pretending that he wants to do a deal with Cosmo and sell him drugs (that he got from Stitch) and sweetens the deal with Ruby's diary. Now... there is a lady bug hiding in the diary, and several on Hardy's body. They are the only way to spy in room. Most leave Hardy and look for entertaining things. Cosmo, knowing that anything he says can't be used in court, shows proof that HE has been the one breaking off unicorn's horns. Hardy and Taxi get out of there without being hurt and they do get their wish that Cosmo uses the weird safe that the spy told them about that makes the diary disappear from his office.
Hey look, the lady bugs can tell you where one of them are. And we get to see Cosmo's childhood home. We meet Cosmo's father who should honestly still be in jail for killing his wife. Hardy sits and has a beer with him and lets him get his confession off his chest and we also find out that King Cosmo name is really Jingle Jangle and that Cosmo is Jingle Jangle's older brother who died a long time ago when Mr. Bloom killed Honey Bee, the unicorn mother who was caught in bed with someone else. The real Cosmo was living off a spell that kept his heart alive as long as his parents loved each other. But you know... This is to nice of a moment for a Noir story, lets get messed up... Mr. Bloom sleeps with Honey's bones on his bed. Oh and that is NOT fucked up enough. Cosmo's ledger's cover is made of leather. And he has the real Cosmo's magic heart in a box next to the leger in a secret drawer. They get a warning that Cosmo's goons are coming but Hardy can't leave without the now beating heart. In fact, unless it is showing emotion, it typically keeps in sync with Hardy's heart and Hardy becomes VERY attached.
Hardy need to rest and they need a safe place to decode the leger... Swift recommends Sweet Heart’s High Seas Hotel and Hardy is honestly to tired to fight. Telly gives him an unlimited budget for it as long as he gets a specialty room, like the wedding suite. Whatever, Hardy wants a freaking nap, though waking up to Scarlet in his bed was not something he was okay with.
... They can't use the leger against Cosmo... Or rather they can... but ... the police department academy is paying Cosmo protection money and there is a lot blackmailed high officials. Though him donating stuff to watch and decrypt the spied stuff from the Vivi to a school that has been closed for 5 years (due to magical contamination), along with chemistry sets... that, that is something they can do something about. And Hardy gets a few ninja whores. All of the name Stilettos are fucked up in their own special way, but also amazing people. There is just so many lessons to take from spending time with them.
Their approach to the raid on the school is Stupid and honestly, I'm surprised it work. That being said, the story about why the school got condemned is in written in a diary. ... Yeah. I do find getting attacked by school supplies and Bake and Boil its all amusing. Oh Edina voice is changed half the time, ish. Zeta... well, Zeta gives you a nod to Zecora and just might make you rethink about how you look at life and disabilities.
They actually manage to complete all goals with zero dead. After giving Scarlet the leger and crystals for the price of protecting the innocents and holding on to the bad guys until Cosmo is dealt with Hardy, Swift, and Taxi go pay another little visit to Cosmo and before Cosmo can tell you something really important, but if you read the whole chapter you should be able to figure out, he gets shot, then Hardy gets shot, comforts the heart in the box, and dies.
End act one.
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